Friday, January 13, 2006

Vaseline up the nose & family issues

The vaseline and family issues aren't related (or at least I don't think they are) but they are two subjects on my mind tonight.

I just don't know if I can possibly shove ANY MORE vaseline up my nose??!! It is so damn DRY outside and yes.....I understand that it's winter. But for gawwwd's sake, I think I'm going to have to figure out a way to attach my big 'ole jar of vaseline to my body somehow. A necklace perhaps?
Let me stop to say *I apologize* to all those offended by my use of a petroleum product. (Sorry Nettie). I'm sure there is some fabulous organic, politically correct moisture-giving product but I've simply not found it. And until then, I will be using big globs of gooey vaseline to soften the crusty, bloody snot in my nose.
And yes.........I'm using a humidifier, and saline nose spray, and drinking lots of water.

On to family issues. This week I've talked to my dad (& his doctor), and both my sisters more times than I can count. (The cell phone bill is going to be scary; we're all in different cities). I love my family, but of course they're MY family so it's exhausting. And because Nov and Dec includes a lot of family time, it seems not-quite-right that we're still...........involved.
It just happens that my sister who lives in Mexico has come for a visit and that's great; she hasn't been here for years. But there are schedules to coordinate, train trips and driving schedules to figure out. (I have no idea how I ever had time for an 8-5 gig).
So the reason I'm talking to my dad's doctor is because he had a fainting spell while I was visiting him at Xmas. It was the 3rd one in10 yrs. He was sitting down when he passed out so it was a matter of keeping him in his chair and talking to 911 at the same time. I was of course totally freaked out and I MADE him go to the ER. He checked himself out against dr's orders and said he felt "great". But the ER docs had to report it to the DMV and his license was suspended as of today. He told me to just “shoot him” if he can’t get his license back.

Let me just say: my sisters and my dad and I are all HIGH-MAINTENANCE. We are opinionated, neurotic, self-centered little shits. 2 Capricorns, a Gemini, & a Scorpian. There are no Pisces here. AND I live with a Gemini and another Capricorn. I get no relief. Speaking nose is getting crusty again. I've gotta go find my vaseline.


Clay (aka WriterDude) said...

Hello from Colorado, where winter boogers qualify as weapons-grade material. Think "ninja stars". Flick one the right way, and you could rob a bank in these parts.

If'n you have to apologize to Nettie, then maybe she's got her own issues. But she (?) does have a point about petroleum-based products. I learned this only after moving to Colorado and getting my lips addicted to Carmex. Just say no! Go to Wild Oats or Whole Foods and get a tube of anything that isn't petrolatum.

Okay, that covers (heh) the lips. And I wasn't "offended", just knowledgeable. But if you're still shoving Vaseline up yer schozz after using everything that actually works here in the nose-picking capital of the world (humidifier, saline nose spray), then I have two questions:

1)Why didn't Joyce -- um, Joyous -- teach you this after/during her time in Aspen?

2) If it's so "dry" there, why does the land under La Conchita continue to insist upon sliding into the ocean?

Clay (aka WriterDude) said...

At 2:36AM, Clay (aka WriterDude) realized he left half his post off and hates when that happens:

How's Al doing now? Aside from his Big Brother issues with the California DMV, I mean. Please remind him that at age 21, I bet him that he will outlive me and that I'm only 42 now.

Heather said... win. Winter in SLO can't compare to CO.

Being raised by health-food freaks means I must rebel by going mainstream.

Q#1 - Addressing issues about Joyous would take too long to explain.

Q#2 - CA is a big state and La Conchita is 2.5 hrs from here. OR perhaps it's not dry outside after all; just dry in my central-heating infused household.

Q#3 - Dad is amazing as always. Since he's 88 I'm hoping he doesn't outlive you but his crazy spirit will probably haunt us all.