Sunday, January 30, 2005


Peta' Pan......... The child who never grew up. The boy who's imagination allowed him to fly.

IMAGINATION. Creativity. fairies, in flight, in magic

I will never see Peter Pan the same. I now see that sweet, blue-eyed, face of Freddie Highmore. His pain and his struggle to BELIEVE in magic. How can a child believe in magic when he's experienced the death of his parent at such a young age.

I was 12 when my mother died of leukimia. I don't know when I stopped believing in MAGIC but it was definitely before my mother died. I stopped believing in Santa when I was 5, and at 12 I was already the practical, "grounded", person I am today! I didn't have James Barrie to challenge my beliefs. Or perhaps I did; my mom's best friend who became my second-mom, somehow allowed me to be a child like only a mother can. And that was not an easy task; I sure was stubborn just like Peter.

And yet, in my DREAMS, I flew. I've had the flying dreams since I can remember. (One of my all-time FAVORITE books is my PETER PAN book, it's a bit torn up now but still with me.)

In my dreams, I'm flapping my arms with all my strength to rise off the floor, if I was inside the house (just like Wendy, Peter, & John). But when I was outside I could fly with the wind. It's scary and exhilarating. See how HIGH I can go?!, be careful of the telephone wires and the buildings. The wind can be so strong; you must navigate carefully. I've always loved my flying dreams. I haven't had one for awhile. Perhaps tonight!

Monday, January 17, 2005

Martin Luther King Day

I share my birthday with one of the most amazing men of all time. I LOVE that! As I was growing up I turned in many, many school reports on Martin Luther King Jr.

I was reading Marya's blog today and nodding my head and commenting out loud to myself (and to her) as I often do.
She had a quote from Dr. King that I will add here as well:
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

I don't know how many others fantasize about Marching in protest against the horrific wars that our country has always and will continue to wage on the world, but I do.....................

The absurd behavior of the US govt since 9/11 continues to disgust me. The US govt/war machine is the worst kind of school yard bully.

My attempts, although seemingly worthy, to make the world a better place is too small and I know it. I vote and it's not enough. To my fellow Americans who voted for Bush, I don't know who the hell you are and believe you have all lost your mind.

Each day I do my best. I mean that. Somedays my best is very good but it's the best I can do on that particular day. I do unto others as I'd like them to do unto me.

A story:
Friday night, my son and I are in the bathtub. He says "you owe me". "Why?", I ask. "Mrs. D gave me 3 video's of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and I gave one to Nic". I smile. I ask him why I owe him (but I already know the answer). He says, "I was nice to Nic and you like it when I'm nice". I laugh. "Yes", I tell him, "I LOVE it when you're nice". Then he says, "Mommy, you're always nice to people".

Teaching compassion to my son has been and will continue to be one of my main goals and challenges. He doesn't seem to have much empathy for others and does not connect with people the way I do. It disturbs me and frustrates me. But at that moment in the bathtub, I felt GLORIOUS and so accomplished!!!

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