Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Life keeps going

my drive to work today
Originally uploaded by emdot.
Listening to soundtrack from Crash; meditating, heavy, reflecting.

A friend called me tonight with scary news about our friend's 3 1/2 yr son, Kai. He had an MRI today and has a mass in his head and they're rushing to Stanford tonight in an ambulance. Don't know anything else.

Got new windows put in my house today and there is probably water damage to the inside that needs to be fixed. Lots more money.

Major construction going on at my office. Constant moving. Paint and glue fumes. Headache. Be flexible.

Spent the weekend with my Dad. I made him sell his 40 yr biz last year. I need to help him not be a sad old man. He got his drivers license renewed but he can't see or hear well and falls asleep. I have much work to do.

Thinking of my friend Lee Lee.

Didn't leave a check for my cleaning lady again so she didn't clean my house and didn't call. I will need to find a new cleaning lady.

Probably wrote too harsh an email to my coworker Christopher today. I adore him; why did I do that?! I wanted to push blame elsewhere.

Don't sweat the small stuff; fault, clean houses, fixing windows.

I made my asst., Kindra, so happy today that she welled up with tears.

I will feel better soon. I started taking more Zoloft again. Wellbutrin didn't cut it. I told Kurt to hang in there; I'd be better soon. I almost forgot what it felt like: frustrated, heavy, angry, never happy for long enough.

I will feel better soon. I know Kai will be OK. He has to be. I don't pray; don't believe in g-o-d, but I will think good strong thoughts.

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