The "Art" ? of Procrastination

On Monday I spent hours on the Verizon website, looking at my bill, and figuring out where I went wrong last month; entering in number after number to see if my “contacts” were also Verizon users, so I can talk for however many damn minutes I want to. I was AVOIDING the “box o’ receipts”, aka my bookkeeping client. The crazy thing about procrastination is that I had been PUTTING OFF the cell phone issue for weeks.

Me
Originally uploaded by Heather's Shot.

I've got this phrase stuck in my head: The Art of Procastination. Not really ART is it?

Art (at least at grade school level) is the glue and cutting and coloring I did for 3 hours tonight in an attempt to create a Solar System display for my son's Science Fair project, DUE tomorrow. Procrastination is the thing we did for the last two weeks to avoid doing the Science Fair project.

And yet procrastination seems to be working for me. To avoid doing something I don't feel like doing RIGHT NOW, I do something that I actually need to get done too.

The classic example is scrubbing your toilet to avoid homework. And although my school days are long gone, I have a child so they’re not really over. Note to self: you don't need to have those dreams anymore where you can't find your classroom, and you forgot you had a test, and you're afraid you're not going to pass your math class, and you suddenly realize you're naked.

Where was I? Oh yes……procrastination. I often do laundry at 9 or 10pm while telling my child to get back in bed fifty gazillion times. I am avoiding the inevitable; laying down with/on my child. I’m like a human straight-jacket.

It just all comes down to what task I’m *perceiving* to be too overwhelming or un-do-able at that particular moment in time. The part that WORKS is that I get everything done EVENTUALLY.

Right now I'm blogging to avoid going to bed. I don't think I could go a day without a good PROCRASTINATION (or "rationalization", for that matter.........remember Jeff Goldblum's character in The Big Chill). Wait! I just rationalized procrastination!!

COMMENTS!!!

As of right now, there are OVER 600 comments on Dooce's post tonight!!!! Jesus H.C. !!

I can't even get a comment or two. I am sooooooo doing something wrong. OK, so I'm not Heather-frickin'-Armstrong, AND I don't make a living with my blog...........but still.

So I'm ASKING..........................what do I have to do to get a comment or 2??????

You can tell me. Really.

You're just too busy? Don't wanna be the only one posting a comment? My posts are lame? No one's actually reading it?

You have nothing to say about PEACE? Parenthood? Middle Aged Girls Gone Wild? Deep philosophical musings? Katharine Hepburn's claim that "plain women know more about love"? Lemon Festivals? Ski trips? And that was just February.

Aaaahhhhhh. OK. I feel better. Rant over.

This is what PEACE looks like

This is what PEACE looks like
Originally uploaded by Heather's Shot.

I got this pic in an email a while back, WITH the title. I love to go back and look it every once and awhile.

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

More about parenthood

I was sitting on the toilet tonight and realized I DIDN'T have to wipe it off first! When did that happen? WHEN did my son stop peeing all over the toilet?
And while sitting there I also realized he hadn't DUMPED out all his shampoo (or mine) into the bathtub lately. WHEN did he stop doing that??
I actually spent a moment or two trying remember. As if it matters. As if I'm going to write it in his baby book. (There's no place in his baby book for that...................but my blog's a good place, huh?) (I know I ranted about it a few months ago on my blog).

These are two HUGE events that have come and gone, like so many others in his little life. I was too busy obsessing about trying a new bedtime routine and bribing him to do chores,................. to notice.

Parenthood!

Thank Gawwwwd

My feet are killin' me after 4 hours of dancing in these heels but.................
Thank gawwwd
I have shoes that keep me warm AND look sexy
Thank gawwwd
I have a cold concrete garage floor to walk on to soothe my achin' feet
Thank gawwwd
I'm 4o something so I can enjoy a night out on the town, and come home by myself & know I haven't missed a damn thing

Thank gawwwd
I have two of the best girlfriends a girl could have who are also 40 something
Thank gawwwd
One of those girlfriends can drink like a 300 lb sailor and still drive me home safely
Thank gawwwd
I have a child old enough to make himself breakfast and let me sleep in
Thank gawwwd
I have really good skin care products to take off my makeup (to remove the 2am-tammy-faye-baker look) and moisturizer to soothe my tired skin
Thank gawwwd
I'm not 20 something so when my thighs ache from grindin for hours, I can appreciate a "night out on the town"

it started underground

it started underground
Originally uploaded by emdot.

Cool pic and even cooler title ("it started underground"). Emdot strikes again!
My day started as all days start; UNDER THE SHEETS. It's warm and lovely and so very, very difficult to leave. But after hitting the *snooze* a few times, I got up to make sure my munchkin was waking up. He was sleeping on the top bunk of his new jungle gym.......um, I mean....bunk bed, so he can't reach his alarm clock. He was actually still sleeping, which is unusual, but after a 3 day weekend what can you expect.

I changed outfits (or metaphorically, “hats”) 5 times today. FIRST, I wore a sweats ensemble for the driving-the-kid-to-school and working-at-home-bookkeeping gig. I tried once again to figure out the “box-o’-receipts” from one client that typifies the worst-kind-of-I’ve-avoided-for-20yrs-bookkeeping job. After an hour or so of frustration, I switched to another bookkeeping job, Insomniac Video (my first official HB&C client). Whew……..much better!! Dream-job-handed-to-me-on-a-silver-platter-by-good-friend-slash-organized-bookkeeper.

NEXT, I changed into a red shirt and jeans outfit for my son’s valentine’s party at school. I was the only parent who showed and boy was I proud of my frosting and MnM’s for cookie decorating project! YUM.

AFTER which I rushed home to shower off the frosting and change into my see-a-bookkeeping-client attire, which always includes navy blue (it’s a nerdy actg thing). I was over dressed for the munchkin’s basketball practice but hey.........

And just when I think my laundry basket is full, I changed into a sleep-shirt for the putting-the-kid-to-bed hour. (I somehow think that’s going to fool him into thinking I too am going to sleep).

And NOW I sit here in my sweats and slippers get-up for the blogging portion of the evening, and am ready to crawl back under the warm and lovely SHEETS.

Path

Little Hill 1
Originally uploaded by soniczen.

When the way comes to an end

CHANGE

and having changed

PASS THROUGH

author unknown

Good to know

Capricorn Horoscope for week of February 9, 2006
Happy Valentine Daze, Capricorn! To begin our meditation on love, let's turn our attention to your appearance. I think you owe a huge debt of gratitude to the fact that you don't have the face and body of a dazzling supermodel or gorgeous hunk. The temptation to rely on your physical attractiveness at the expense of developing your character would be virtually irresistible. In the coming days, this fact will bring you a fresh batch of benefits, including a subtle breakthrough in your romantic life. Here's your quote of the week, from Katharine Hepburn: "It is the plain women who know about love. The beautiful women are too busy being fascinating."

Pucker Up

La Fete du Citron. The 2001 Lemon Festival in France.

2005 Lemon Festival en Espana.

A NEW February celebration. They say we can't Mardi Gras. To hell with 'em. I'd put lemon's in my bra.

The tradition started in 1895.

And I'm liking this game.
The “Moucouleti” tradition
During the evening of the second parade – called “corso” -, people from Menton give themselves to the traditional entertainment of the “Moucouleti” or “Moccoletti”, small candles they hold in their hands. The game consists in keeping your flame on and blowing off the one of your neighbour! It’s a pretext game for love meetings, just like in the tale “Short Story of the carnivals of Menton” by Pierre Masséna: “In this game the young man, using all of his skills, has to try and blow off the candle of the young girl, who has her candle above her head with the calumet lighted. When the young man succeed he can light the darkened wick again and have a thanks kiss.”

I know I went on a ski trip because................

I know I went on a ski trip because................

My muscles ache

My feet didn't sweat in my UGG boots

I didn't get to sleep in

I was in the middle of a snowball fight in the hot tub

My calf muscles got shorter

We all had 300 lb weights on our feet that make you walk funny

I was reminded that plunging down mountains is a lot of hard work

Ski lifts are stupid and seem ridiculously unsafe. Who thought up chairs with no seat belts, really high in the air, with 300 lb weights on your feet??

My laptop was talking to me. It said, "I'm trying to find a WIFI connection dammit. No......don't do it. You're going to plug that thing in where? Be gentle for gawwd's sake; I'm a virgin".

My nose bled (oh wait...........it was already doing that)

I used 3 times the normal amount of my Mary Kay Time-Wise Age-Fighting Mosturizer and my skin could still breathe

I eat huge amounts of food and pretending I don't have a scale

My laptop is acting like it's on qualudes 'cause I'm uploading so many pictures to my Kodakgallery and my flickr

My bed feels especially nice