More Prom Pics

More pics from my Saturday night adventures. Check out my flickr account for all pics (look to the right in my FAVORITES...........it's the fist link).

Prom Barbie

Behold. Prom Barbie!! Saturday night I was at a Prom party. That would be a party with a "theme". Done by my favorite party crowd. See previous entries called "Alien Girls" in March.

Everyone was dressed so fabulously, as expected; some women in serious evening gowns and some in bridesmaid dresses dragged from the far reaches of closets.

At first I had an image of myself in an 80's punk outfit; pink taffeta and black combat boots. But somehow I turned into Prom Barbie!! Morgan took me shopping and I found this sweet little pink dress that screamed for Barbie shoes and a tiara.

TGIFF

THANK GAWWD IT'S F&#@ING FRIDAY

OK. I am especially glad it's Friday night. Focusing and concentrating are no longer possible verbs in my vocabulary.

I cried A LOT this week. Here's my week in review:

Mon: watched the SERIES FINALE of Queer as Folk (QAF) .
I cried and cried. It was so sad to say goodbye to 5 years of relationships with these characters. And of course they had a special interview session with the actors and THEY were crying. To tell you the truth I was not happy with the ending of Brian and Justin. Brian had "grown a heart" just 2 episodes earlier and after all that he was left alone. How sad is that??!!
5 years! That's a long time. I watched almost EVERY episode in real time (or at least TiVo'd). QAF started at the same time I got divorced. The last 5 years has been mostly a solitary journey and QAF was a part of that journey.

Tues: watched what I thought was the SERIES FINALE of Six Feet Under. One of the main characters dies and much crying ensued. Thanks Clay for getting my hooked on this amazing show, and thanks for letting me know there are 2 more episodes. Whew..........

Wed: late night IM with Clay. For no reason in particular, our common walk down memory turned suddenly into a sad journey for me. Lost LOVE. FIRST LOVE. YOUNG LOVE. Can never be rerun. There is no "special DVD box set". And even if there was, it'll never be like the first time. That heavenly feeling of blinding passion. And while my heavily grounded common sense personality look a vacation, I walked along a lonely road. Looking back. Looking forward to a landscape with no fireworks, no heavenly light. Where is it? Where is he? How will I find him? And although I spent the next day working and laughing and smiling, I continued to walk with a heavy heart.

It's midnight on Friday night now (just "purned into a tumpkin"). For the most part, I've regained my senses. I wouldn't want to go back to being 18 or any other age because I like being 40. And I like being single. I just want that blinding passion. Once and awhile. Just that. But not all the other crap that comes with relationships. And sometimes I must mourn the loss of my first love, and although not comparable in scale, I will mourn the loss of ground-breaking shows like QAF and SFU.

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like i do
And i blame you

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
The Who

Reunions

I went to a reunion party for the first 5 years of graduating classes of Anacapa High School; so '83-'87 graduates. (The school is in downtown SB). The reunion happened in June but I finally got this pic off the website. The big teddy bear next to me is Teddy and Gordon is in the background. Gordon is the Headmaster of Anacapa. I attended Anacapa my senior year and it was the most amazing experience!!!
Teddy was the only other senior 'cause Anacapa has just started and most of the students came from SB's Middle School and were in younger grades. So me n Ted were the FIRST graduating class. Kinda cool, huh!!

My amazing experience at Anacapa was because it was a small, start-up school and because the Headmaster and his wife, Suzi, were 35 yr old hippies, and because he taught me world history (we learned a ton about Ghandi and others that were never part of any history I'd had before) and she taught yoga and art history, and we went on trips to Yosemite and Figeuroa Mtn. and spent the last week at Catalina.........all camping of course. We actually did a ton of schoolwork too. They guilted me into taking more French and Algebra, Ughhh.
We've had reunions over the years so it's been maybe 5-10 yrs since I've seen most of them. We had a beautiful dinner at 1129 State (whatever restuarant is there now). A lovely evening and a I'm-so-lucky-to-know-these-people kind of night!!!!

BTW, I'm sorry I haven't written in so long; there's no excuse. I read other blogs, like dooce.com and other favorites and I'm totally sad if there aren't new entries. Oh well, I probably don't have much of an audience 'cept myself so it's redundant to beat myself up.

First Impressions

http://whitestkids.com/video/pregnancytest.mov

Christopher sent me this link today. I was LOL for a REALLY long time. That kind of laughing that is abrupt and loud and your stomach hurts afterwards. Comic relief AND a stomach exercise; can't beat that!

You might not find it as hilarious as I did. You might not have an X that is an Apple fanatic and likes to tell you everything that is wrong with your computer is because it's NOT an Apple. You might not think relationships are ridiculously hard (hard I tell you), and are NEVER what they first appear to be. This video is a parody of my x-marriage. No kidding.

It has occurred to me lately that my relationship with my job is like a marriage. If you're in it for the long-haul, you have a different set of expectations. And if you didn't know this already, LIFE IS ALL ABOUT EXPECTATIONS!! The ups, downs, communication challenges, being in love, wanting to be loved, liked, whatever, is the same at work as it is in any relationship. I'm setting a record for the longest-running job I've ever had; 3 yrs and counting. It's HARD I tell you.

Back to EXPECTATIONS again. Try this little exercise: when you're feeling pissed off or happy or any emotion, THINK.............how do expections affect my attitude or feeling?? It's ALL about EXPECTA.........................oh you know what I'm saying!

Eyes are watching you

Eyes
Originally uploaded by Heather's Shot.

I finally got pictures from my X. He's taken so many great pics of our son this year and I've taken none.
I finally scrapbooked last week. First time in 9 months. I feel soooooo far behind but now I guess I'm like everyone else I know. (It's always comforting to know that others are more flaky than me).

I had quite the busy weekend although I'm not at all ready for Monday!!

Friday night was a crazy night that started at the Concerts in the Plaza listening to JnD, then dinner & drinks at Firestone with a friend, then ran into another friend and went for more drinks at Blue which has turned into a jazz super club, THEN the topper was The Graduate for Latino night. Who can say they danced to 3 totally different types of music at 3 totally different places in ONE night?!

I slept in Saturday and finally took my kid out at 3pm. I took him to Boomers where we played two rounds of miniature golf and did the go-karts. OMG. Then went to Tawna's and hung out and watched Willy Wonka. Good to see the original again. Can't wait to see the re-make.

Today was the usual Sunday; slept in, rode bikes, watched a lot of TV, & finally started laundry at 10pm. Glad we went to our friend's apt. for hanging out. I can't tell you how much I enjoy good female gabbing!!

It's almost midnight; time to "purn into a tumpkin".

DOOCED?

Can you believe I hadn't read dooce's blog until this week??? http://www.dooce.com/

Dooce is written by a woman named Heather (for gawwwd's sake) that was fired in 2001 for writing about her co-workers and company in a negative way.

The tone of those weblogs were actually humorous in a Dilbert-esc kind of way and didn't mention any names. She was a web designer in LA at the time.

She continues to blog about her daily life as a stay-at-home mom living in Utah but still has the same wicked, sarcastic sense of humor which I adore so much. YOU GO GIRL.

A good blog like this (and my all time favorite http://emdot.blogspot.com/ ) is great reading because it's like a good book or even better yet ..... a good soap; a continuing saga of characters you become completely engrossed and engulfed by. GO BLOGGERS!

Life keeps going

my drive to work today
Originally uploaded by emdot.

Listening to soundtrack from Crash; meditating, heavy, reflecting.

A friend called me tonight with scary news about our friend's 3 1/2 yr son, Kai. He had an MRI today and has a mass in his head and they're rushing to Stanford tonight in an ambulance. Don't know anything else.

Got new windows put in my house today and there is probably water damage to the inside that needs to be fixed. Lots more money.

Major construction going on at my office. Constant moving. Paint and glue fumes. Headache. Be flexible.

Spent the weekend with my Dad. I made him sell his 40 yr biz last year. I need to help him not be a sad old man. He got his drivers license renewed but he can't see or hear well and falls asleep. I have much work to do.

Thinking of my friend Lee Lee.

Didn't leave a check for my cleaning lady again so she didn't clean my house and didn't call. I will need to find a new cleaning lady.

Probably wrote too harsh an email to my coworker Christopher today. I adore him; why did I do that?! I wanted to push blame elsewhere.

Don't sweat the small stuff; fault, clean houses, fixing windows.

I made my asst., Kindra, so happy today that she welled up with tears.

I will feel better soon. I started taking more Zoloft again. Wellbutrin didn't cut it. I told Kurt to hang in there; I'd be better soon. I almost forgot what it felt like: frustrated, heavy, angry, never happy for long enough.

I will feel better soon. I know Kai will be OK. He has to be. I don't pray; don't believe in g-o-d, but I will think good strong thoughts.

My son jumps in!!!!

Wayne jumping in pool
Originally uploaded by Heather's Shot.

My son is an amazingly complicated brilliant child. You absolutely never know what he'll do next. Last week he would barely have ventured into a pool and this week he's jumping in!!!
He's been at my sister's most of the last 8 days and I must say that I MISS HIM! AND what a fabulous life he has and a generous uncle and auntie.

Live Oak

Live Oak
Originally uploaded by Heather's Shot.

Of course Live Oak was great! Of course I saw many people I expected to and many I didn't. Of course Joose was FABULOUS! Of course there was music I would never have listened to otherwise. Of course there were all kinds of beatiful people. Of course Marya and Dorene were there and they know each other. Of course Stu does their website and his band, Molly's Revenge, played. Of course campsites were decorated in an unbelievably creative way. Of course Lee and I had FUN and were great camp-mates. Of course we relaxed, drank, napped, and danced! And of course we thought of many friends who would have had a great time with us. Of course this will be an annual event for us.